Feelings of failure, remorse, or self-blame are widespread. Additionally, we are capable of experiencing astonishment, grief, rage, and incredulity, occasionally switching between these feelings quickly. This flurry of emotions is a perfectly natural reaction to sorrow, even if it might make us feel like we're going crazy.
NEONATAL DEATH
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How we feel at the death of our baby is only known to us. The sorrow we have at their passing is a reflection of the love, hopes, and dreams we had for them rather than the amount of time they lived. There is no hierarchy among the many types of losses.
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The feelings of failure, remorse, or self-blame are widespread. Additionally, we are capable of experiencing astonishment, grief, rage, and incredulity, occasionally switching between these feelings quickly. This flurry of emotions is a totally natural reaction to sorrow, even if it might make us feel like we're going crazy.
When a newborn passes away during the first 28 days of life, it is referred to as neonatal death. its unbelievable that in the UK, one in 300 babies die in the first 4 weeks of life and around a quarter of them are born at tern. The sudden retaliation that we ​babies die and some parents suffer the sole destroying loss a baby feel unreal.
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STILL BIRTH
It is shocking that the majority of stillbirths happen in pregnancies that were considered to be low risk. In many cases the baby died near the end of the pregnancy. With the figure indicating that about half the bereavements has no identifiable cause, for parent we need reason why that our babies are not in our arms, and like SIDS, we look for reason, blame, how could it happen, is it me and what could I of done different. Our faith may be questioned, as much of our own mental health.
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Not every stillbirth instance has an unknown reason; some may be connected to genetic defects that hinder the fetus's normal development. Health issues such uncontrolled diabetes, thyroid issues, and maternal fibroids, as well as lifestyle choices, infections, ageing, unseen health problems. Many stillbirths are linked to placental complications. This means that for some reason the placenta is not functioning properly and a number are the result of possibly preventable problems that started during pregnancy and labour. Every year, about 500 newborns pass away as a result of an unanticipated or poorly handled birth trauma or incident. Some die as newborns, while others are stillborn
As good as Google searches can be, we leave ourselves open to suggestion when looking for answers, some may find the reason a little uncomfortable or misleading.
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Mummy keep crying and it makes me feel sad. Daddy has said Mummy is very sad because our baby didn't come home from hospital. I loved my baby brother and wish that he had been able to live, I sometime wonder if Mummy and Daddy still love me as they are so sad, but I still love them both just as much and always will. I just want to see her smile again.
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PREMATURE DEATHS or PRETERM BIRTH RESULTING IN DEATH
Some of our babies are born before their time and may of not been fully baked, they may be with us for such a short time and have a fleeting moment to be in our aim and to open our hearts. Not all premature babies are born alive, this devastate a parents dreams and change their future while other may pass away as babies due to congenital problems or preventable complications throughout pregnancy and labour,
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Premature births happen for a number of reasons. They occur naturally, but some are caused by medical conditions such as infections or other pregnancy issues that necessitate early induction of labour or caesarean delivery.
More study is required to understand the causes and processes of preterm birth. Multiple pregnancies, infections, and chronic illnesses such as diabetes and high blood pressure are all potential causes; however, no reason is usually recognised. There may also be a hereditary impact.​
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I remember saying: ‘How could this happen? Why did life give me another child and take him away?’
