When George Past Away.

Our story is very simple, my wife and I was delighted when baby George came into our world, he had an amazing presents and filled our life full of joy, but on the day that George past away, everything changed! not only did we lose a child suddenly and without any reason but also a part of our soul died and we was left lost and had no direction. I think losing a child is probably the worst thing anyone could ever go through.

 

From the first second we called 999, we found that the emergency services performed brilliantly and could not have done more, even seem to of felt our pain and suffering. From the moment when Sarah, my wife, phoned up the emergency service, the operator spoke clearly and gave precise instructions for us to follow. They kept us calm, well calm enough to perform CPR. I was on my knees, crouched over George trying to bring live back to him, blowing air into his small lungs as the operator kept the beat for me to follow. 
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When the Police Arrived on the Scenes

Minutes later, a police officer stormed through our front door and took control of the CPR, this was such a relieve, knowing that our angel was in safe hands, he was followed very quickly by a short tempered paramedic, who bellowed at our small children, luckily she was only on the seen for a few minutes until the ambulance crew turned up and took full control. They didn’t waste any time and took George and Sarah straight, at break neck speed, to hospital.

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More police officers turned up and remained at home with myself and our children. The officer who helped George, stayed with me, he was trying to keep me calm, if that was possible, while another went and stayed upstairs with the children in their bedroom along with a family friend who was just passing after picking up her children from school and then called in to see if she could help. I phoned our parents sometime within the confusion, but can’t recall when. They quickly came to help were they could, my mother turned up first,trying to comfort the children, before Sarah’s mum could take them all back to her house, she was so worried that she didn’t have all the car seats with her and would then be stopped by the police. It was such a blur of who was where and all I could think about was George.  
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As I was trying to keep control and not to break down, I noticed one of the officers on his radio and it was just a matter of minutes when he stopped talking and turned to me, I looked at him with tears forming in my eyes and bellowed “he’s gone! HE'S GONE! MY BABY'S GONE! IS'NT HE?” he replied calmly, “I'm so sorry, he has past away” he then asked if he could take me to George and Sarah.
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THE AMBULANCE CREW.

While this was happening at home, Sarah and George was rush to hospital, she remarked to me that she has never travailed so fast on the road before. The speed of the ambulance, knocked one of the crew off his feet as they sped off. Sarah was given no false hope, even when  at one point the monitor beeped as if he took a breath back to life but it was too late, the ambulance crew worked tirelessly on George, they never gave up, never lost hope, just wanting to bring George back to his mummy’s caring arms.
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AT THE HOSPITAL

The hospital was also brilliant and treated us with so much care. I was met and escorted to a small room along side the main A&E department, were Sarah, a couple of police officers and the hospital staff was waiting. Nothing could have prepared us for George’s passing and why would it, this is not natural, no parent should be faced with it.  We held each other in disbelief before being to break down.
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We was then bombarded by lots of faces and names from so many services. We was told what was happening and what was being done, but nothing was going in or who anyone was. All we wanted was George in our arms but instead we were in a room that was void of any emotion and feeling. The area felt clinical and part of the process, loose leaflets with scraps of information was given to us. Surely they must be a better way? We've just lost our perfect baby boy and couldn't understand why this was happening to us! 
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The nursing staff couldn’t do enough for us. The sister came in and told us what was happening to George and that he was being cared for, she also told us that soon they was going to move him to a room next door, so when we were ready, we could be with him. Even one of the younger nurses was going to stay with George, we felt she was keeping him safe. The sister arranged for some photos to be taken as well as hand and footprints.

 

SAYING GOODBYE

When it was time, we went in to be with our baby angel, he looked perfect, as if he was only sleeping. We picked him up and held our baby once more but not wanting to let him go, just willing him to move. It felt like hours that we stood holding him, both Sarah and I finally kissed him goodnight, as we returned back to the original side room.

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We notice that George wasn't in his own clothes, his favourite sleepy  time baby grow and his blanket wasn't there! Someone explained that these are taken away for testing but would be returned to us. 
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We sat back down, stunned and with total disbelief. An uncomfortable silence as we waited and waited for something to happen.  As police officers, doctors and nurses came in and out,  we just wanted to go home and take George with us.  For so long we waited not knowing what to do or who to turn to.  At this point we didn't even want to make small talk with the officials but we still needed to wait for tests to happen, but we didn’t care, we just wanted George and some sort of answers, why is this happening to us? Why is it fair?  
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Will all the test done, we finally was allowed to leave the hospital. It felt as if we were being released into the cold, dark night. One of the police officers was waiting to take us home in an unmarked police car. She asked us, if we needed anything or if we wanted her to stay with us? Kind words, but all we wanted was answers to so many questions. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Did we do it? Was it our fault? Could we of saved him?  

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INTO THE COLD DARK NIGHT

We was in bits! Nothing was real and nothing was right. We had to leave our baby George alone without his loving family around him.  I hated myself and wished I wasn’t alive but at the same time knowing I needed to stay strong for Sarah and the other children.
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BACK AT HOME

We arrived back at home, we had so much dread in our hearts, as we walked in. The house felt empty, with all the joy now removed. The shopping was left discarded on the floor, at the top of the bag peeked out the Snowdog teddy, still in its box, this was going to be a little present from mummy, a little friend for George to hold at night.  Our heart sunk as we found that his favourite blanket wasn’t there, no sleepy time clothes and no baby bottles, just am empty pram. How will my boy sleep tonight as all his things are not with him.  
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We aimlessly began to pack up, we began putting what we thought we needed into a bag, as we did so, we found a plastic bag full of empty evidence bottles, these was left in the kitchen, just on the side, discarded or maybe just forgotten to be picked up in haste. We just threw clothes into a bag a left the house as soon as we were able to. The realisation of the days event hit us and hit us hard. Things would never be the same.
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Looking back at the night, so many individuals and their services performed above and beyond, but some small changes would ease the suffering, from a purpose designed bereavement suite, bereavement box with clean new baby grow and a review of the immediate support and counselling. 

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