Write a List of positive things to do for all our baby angels
Since George passed away, I knew I needed to do something for him but wasn't sure what. I toyed with an idea of doing things in his name but didn’t know how to implement this or even whether it was a good idea.
So many things I did in the past and didn’t talk about it or even write them down first, I just had my bucket list in my mind, such as ‘fall more deeply in love with my partner every day.... check, get marry to my best friend.... check. but now I needed to do it for our baby, he would never take his first step, meet a girl, settle down, graduate or give us great kids. What a challenge!
I slowly began doing things, for that past few years, I ran in the Great North Run in his name, but this didn’t feel enough. George’s life and death have taught me that life is not guaranteed. Time is not a given. I have now written my bucket list for my son and will scratch things off in his name.
So here is my Bucket List for George.... (I sometimes add to it...)
1. Design a website about our baby boy and let the world know he was here. Big tick.. The Doing It For GEORGE site has been active for a couple of years now, hopefully it has brought readers some hope and awareness.
2. George came into the world and changed our life and so I will try to remember all the good times and not focus on the negatives.
3. I will tell George's Story and how his short life touch our hearts forever. Our baby George's story was told in the House of Commands, the debate was about baby loss, in some small way, he has made change to help others. Read More...
4. As George would have spoken his first word, I will face my fears (glossophobia) and talk in public about George, SIDS and how our lives have changed.
5. As George would have taken his first steps, I will run a marathon and more...
6. As George would have splashed in the bath, I will swim a lake in his name. I better start getting better at swimming first, at least getting more confident in deep water errr!!
7. As George would have learnt to ride his bike, I will cycle from Land’s End to John O’Grotes and other routes to raise awareness.
8. As I would have put George's paintings on the fridge, we will paint and display artwork and fill the walls of a gallery. The snowdrops & TEARDROPS exhibition went on display at Blackpool Solaris Centre, The work explored the taboos surrounding child loss. Read More...
9. I will let people know how proud George made me feel and how he can provoke positive actions in my life. George's inspiration "Art Exhibition is a Tribute to Son", was told in the Blackpool Gazette, on the 7th February 2018.
10. As George would have been a star of our home movies, I will in appear in a Hollywood block buster. I was lucky to do my film extra debut in the 'Phantom Thread' staring Daniel Day-Lewis
11. As George would begin to talk, I will learn a new language.
12. As George would of read his first words, I will write a book and dedicate it to him.
13. George would of song his nursery rhymes, I will put pen to paper and compose a poem or a song for George.
14. As George would of been naughty and written on the walls, I will paint a mural for the world to see.
15. As George would of been true to himself, I will be the same.
16. I will conquer my dyslexia and write a story line about SIDS, this will be in the words of a grieving parent and laid bear for the world to see.
17. As telling George's story has inspired me, I will visit the homes of some literary giants. As a family we have already visited Whitby, the home of Bram Stoker ‘Dracula’, Dove Cottage home of William Wordsworth, Beatrix Potter the writer of the Tales of Peter Rabbit and I'm sure they will be more to follow.
18. As George would of made sand castles on the beach, I will design a haven where families of child loss would feel at peace.
19. As I would of carried George on my shoulders, I will carry his spirit in my heart. Each day I think about our time together, I have become more grateful for each second we shared.
20. As George would of played with his toy trains, I will drive a steam engine.
21. I will fly a kite, simple but I think George would of wanted some simple things just for fun.
22. As George would of banged on upside down saucepans, I will learn to play an instrument.
23. As he would of gone on family trips with us, he will be in our hearts wherever we go. Edinburgh castle, Whitby (birth place of the Dracula story), Wembley Stadium, Lego World of discovery, Disney Land Paris, and much, much more to follow.
24. As George would have looked up and be proud of his brothers and sisters , I will share in joy and rejoice in there achievements.
25. As he would of started his school life, I will learn a new still and teach others.
26. As George would of held my hand as we walked to school, I will start a walking group to help other like minded soles.
27. As George would of began to ride a bike, I will complete a challenge in his name.
28.As George would of competed in his school's sports day, I will compete against an Olympian. I ran in the Great North Run, they were 57,000 of us running this event, it so happen that Mo Farah was one of them and he came in first.
29. As George would of grown and made friends, I will reacquaint myself with old friends while making new once along the way. As our journey is long and full of broken dreams, I will do my best to be a friend to others.
30. As George would of encouraged his best friend to achieve only the very best for themselves, I will support Sarah, my best friend and wife, as she works towards becoming a bereavement coach as well as all the risks and sacrifices that may happen. What is risk without reward....
31. As George would of followed his own unique path in life, I will stop living a life built on someone else’s expectations. We all have dreams, goals and passions but sometimes they become so blurred by the expectations of society and others around us that we might wonder how we came to the point we find ourselves at.
32. As George would of challenged himself, I will challenge myself, by finding new ways and goals to be myself.
33. As George would of helped others find their feet, I will set up a support group to help others.
34. As George would of enriched our lives with joy and happiness, we will encourage others to do so..
35. Hold onto our hopes, no matter how elusive they might seem. Our George may not be by our side, but he would have been happy knowing mummy and daddy are still moving forwards. Our faith and belief may of been tested but we will not give up as our love for him will never die.
36. As George would of helped a stranger, I will do good in his name.
37. As George would of tried his best, we will encourage others to achieve what they can. “The George Isaac Loy Award” spotlight the achievement of an individual who has done some much in the shortest of time. Read More...
38. As George would of graduated, I will achieve.
39. As George would of found who he was, I will trace our family tree, finding out facts along the way. "I have been researching our family name and have already found a river and a glen that carry on name".
40. I will carry our name into the highland and stay at a Glen Loy Lodge, I will
41. I will walk along side the river Loy.
42. White water rafting on glen Loy.
45. I will compete in a personal three peaks challenge.
46. As George would of found a career, I will do rewarding work through devoting a career to helping others. Don’t know how or what yet!
47. As George would of found a partner and settled down, I will show my love for my wife everyday.
48. As George will bring love to his brothers and sisters, I will try hard to keep his hopes and joys. George has already repaired our family and brought us closer.
49. As George would of grown up and had a family, I will cuddle mine daily, especially my wife, every chance I get.
50. As George would of enjoyed of life, I will stop being melancholic and start looking on the positive, The glass is full and all that stuff.
51. As George would of been a loving father, I will spend as much time possible with family and friends, should be a priority.
52. As George would of found his place in life, I will find ours. I will trace our family footsteps and journey to their landmarks, maybe time to get the atlas out..
53. As George would of seen the world, we will travel and set some location goals, leaving our footsteps behind.
54. As George would of loved to of seen the miracle around him, I will take my beautiful wife see the Northern Lights.
55. I will challenge myself and climb a mountain and shout from the highest peak how much I miss our beautiful baby boy.
56. As George would of done the best for his family, I will start appreciating our family more and show them how much I care.
57. As George's smile would light up a room, I will find away to light up the sky with his name.
58. As George's adventures would of become more intense, I will do at least one extreme sport/event each year.
59. As George would of made his way through life, showing care and compassion, I will follow his lead.
60. George now look down on earth from the stars, I will fly in a hot air balloon and touch the clouds.
61. George may of stumbled and fallen, I will take to the skies, take a leap of faith and parachute
62. George life was short but full of happiness, I will try and bring a little happiness to others.
63. I will help a stranger in need who I have only met that day.
64. I will stop and listen to someone who need someone to talk to.
65. I will buy a stranger a meal.
66. I will find it in my heart to forgive someone who need a friend.
67. As George would of taken my help, I will open up my heart and allow others to help us, No man is an island and all that!
68. I will find a way to help another lost sole who have lost their child to SIDS. The "doing it for George" website was set up to help others and in small ways we has helped others either online or from calls. I am still helping where we can.
69. I will become more of the person who I would of been, if George was in my arms today.
70. I will learn to relax more, life is to short to worry.
71. Imagine your ideal life and live it, if only for moments at a time and even if only in your imagination and dreams.
72. As George would be as strong as his mummy, I will find my voice and be true to it.
73. As George's would as been as kind as his mummy, I will pass on his care to others I meet.
74. We will follow our dreams and always remember him with joy and not sorrow.
75. I will stop listening to the doubters and become a do'er.
76. Throw caution to the wind.
77. I will become a guiding light for others as George is a light for me.
78. I will help others to discover their dreams and talents. After becoming a coach, I was awarded 'manager of the year' at a local youth football club. My success was down to finding the best management team, who help mold the children into players who found the confidences and successfully won games and was promoted in successive sessions as well of taking them to the final of the cup. This achievement is for George....
79. I will celebrate George's birthdays with joy and laughter and not with sorrow and regret.
80. Let George rest in peace and release his soul. The only way forward is remember and letting go.
81. As George would of grown bigger and faster, I will eat healthy and regular exercise, start respecting my body and soul, once again...
82. As George would of wished, I will 'Let go and Let in'.
83. I will forgive God and stop looking for why!..
84. Find acceptance and peace.
85. Become a friend with grief, it will be around our life for some time, if not a lifetime. We might as well be on good terms.
86. Find joy in my moments of grief. Learning how to enjoy the smaller things again. That little butterfly in the dead of winter or feather falling to earth.
87. As George would of taken his gap year, I will dedicate the year to remembering George and honouring my grief.
88. Let healing in, whenever he whisper my name..
89. Follow my joy and reason for being. if it to help other or to help where I can. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole only to find peace once again in her loving home.
90. Feel, Heal, and Grow and accept the transformation of whatever might be. Our new norm is here and not going away
91. Forgive, Forgive myself, others, the Universe. Just learn to forgive. Enough said.
What would your Bucket List for our Babies with Wings have on it?.
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