Day By Day
As day follows night and night follows day, the pain of losing our baby boy still lingers on. Everyday waking up knowing he is not in our arms and that we now will spend our waking hours longing for a sign from him. We look for white feathers floating down to earth or the sound of fluttering butterfly’s wings. Everyday becomes a task, every day is a battle, we miss our baby boy and nothing will ever fill the void left from his passing.
One thing always stays the same and that is the numbness that losing our precious little angel brings and the ever endless question of why? Some people think that time heals and that our feelings will change, but losing a child is different to any other loss as it destroys part of our being. If I could swap paces with him, I would do it in a heartbeat, I still blame myself and I should have been able to stop the world from turning just to give us more time together.
Friends sometimes ask me, how am I feeling? I politely reply “I’m fine and I’m taking one day at a time”, well the truth is I still feel the pain and loneliness and some hurt will never heals. We live each day for others, keeping busy, putting food on the table and existing rather than living. Nothing changes the fact that when we open our eyes in the morning till we close them at night, our lives have changed as a great part of our being is now missing.