With only a day to go before Christmas, it with deep dread I see the day, don’t misunderstand me, I don’t hate Christmas or all the children opening presents under the tree, it is that I want to see baby George enjoying the day with all his brothers and sisters.
When I first created this website and blog, it was as an outlet, and for the first six months or so, I didn’t even go live as I found releasing part of my soul was just too difficult to let go, as I wrote down my feeling and emotions, it was in the hopes that in some small way my story could help and comfort others who may be going through the same emotional turmoil, nothing could as ever prepare you for a loss of my child and how every day I still feel the loss, it was never
I am a shell, a shadow of the ‘happy go likely’ person I once was. I feel that I could no longer believe that everything in life was going to be fine just because I was a good person and tried to help others. I went to church, gave freely, volunteered for charity and cared about my fellow man. I tried to be a good husband, father and son. I question whether I fit any of these criteria. When I became a parent of an angel, I wondered if I warranted this punishment from the univ
I found tears in my eyes once more, songs on itunes randomly played all reminds me of George’s short life. I find patterns in live, fathers and butterflies. I still try each day to find reasons for SIDs, why was we chosen? What did we do? Where do we go from here?