Madness

Have you ever felt so alone, even so you know there are a million-people caring? I guess when you have lost a child, you are able to see life without rose coloured glasses. It maybe a little self-pity or feel the pain that comes with SIDS, but why? Am I losing my mind? Will I just become bitter, well more bitter than I am already. The only things that keeps from wallowing in self-pity is my family.

#Doing It For.....

I have been talking to a local charity, hopefully it will be mutually beneficial. The charity knows all about George and our story, this group helped us with the first steps, but now due to the retirement of their bereavement councillor has force them to evaluate what is needed within the current market. We talked about ideas and directions before highlighting issues that sure be faced. Our hopes for ‘Doing It For GEORGE’ and what we stand for, haven’t changed and for us to grown we need help from other groups and sponsors.

errrrrrrrr...

For weeks now, I have felt so down and like the clown I am, I am hiding my tears behind this mask. Each day trying to keep busy but instead end up chasing my tail, not really moving forward, instead fighting hard just to keep standing still. This helter-skelter of moods, keeps me in limbo, no matter how hard I try to get off, I find myself sliding down into depression. I feel unless I can snap myself out of this, my family will being to see the cracks…..

Shutting down now...

Shutting down now... I'm in place where I feel like no one wants me. Not even my older children seem to need me. I look around and wonder, are their better off without me. I don't want to go on feeling like this anymore. Just want to be with my angel baby, in my heart I know that at time I’m imposable to be with, but I lost who I am and what I always was.

Rage

Something wrong and I done know why I’m feeling the way I do, I am full of rage for what we have lost and at times the path is far from easy, and no light at the end of the tunnel.

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