Birthday Blues

Today is one of those red letter days we have learnt to live with, It’s Toby’s birthday and for those who don’t know, Toby is George’s bigger brother, there is just over a year apart. We have the joy and celebration of one of our babies is growing up, at the same time having a grief that can’t be spoken, a pain that goes on and on, an empty chair at the party table and empty spaces in every family picture, but life still goes on and on. There is and will always be a missing part to our being.

I know some people who may tell us to “stop dwelling,” or “is it time to move on”, but unless they spend every minute of every day missing their child, not just waving bye as they go off to college but a real loss of heartbreak, then they would never suffer the true meaning of loss and don’t have the right to speak.

So our empty chairs are just a reminder of our love that will last for a lifetime and not that our love has gone. So next time you see that empty space, hold on tight to the memory and raise a glass in their name.