Christmas Day

Today should be all about opening presents under the Christmas tree, not spending time longing for what should of been , George would of been a little monkey trying to get in the way of his older brothers and sisters, he would of stole the limelight and made our day complete but instead a sadness is in the air. I am grateful for the time we had together but wish he was here to share in the day. Play happily with the angels and remember we miss you so much my baby boy

Christmas is on its way

Tonight is the Christmas Carroll concert at the school and last year George was the main event, he was wrapped up and played the new born Jesus. Sadness lies where joy should be and tears where hope for all our tomorrows. Just because I am strong enough to handle the pain does not mean I deserve it

So Pity Only Go So Far

I found Sebbie sodding his little heart out, when I calmed him down he just told me how much he is missing baby George, is this what a three year old thinks. Both Lizzie and Sebbie talk about George quite offen, sometimes as if he is in the same room. At first, we thought that the youngsters won’t be affective as much as the older ones, but it has been more of a reversal. Our baby George came into our lives for the shortest of time but he change us in so many ways, not always for the better. I miss that little boy and wish we were together again xx

Christmas!!! Humbug

Watching other fathers around the dreary old town, as their push the prams, whiles dashing from shop to shop, buying needless presents and playing at being a happy family. They will never know the pain of losing someone who life was so linked to your own. Once a year ago, I was that dad and now my life is full of the pains and hurt. I want to shout STOP and look at me “the meaning of your everything is sleeping in that pram and not the burden you say they are”, what I would give to see my baby George in my arms again. George I miss you so, xxx

As Christmas Edge Closer

As the Christmas period begins to edge closer, I start to feel aches and pains. my back, it feels like it is beginning to break, my chest is starting to pull tighter and I start to gasp for air. I know its not a heart attack but instead my heart starting to break all over again. Every time I walk into a room, I just want to shout his name.... my baby has gone and why oh why am I left here< I should of been able to stop this from happening, no-one knows the hurt I feel in my sole, and why would they care, they have their own little problems

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